Disclaimer: This article includes mention of violence and death.
After Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed, Alec Baldwin was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. Following the unintentional death of Rust’s cinematographer on production, the 30 Rock alum’s wife, Hilaria Baldwin, reflected on his “darkest moments” in the first episode of his family’s new reality show on TLC.
“He was diagnosed with PTSD, and he says in his darkest moments, ‘If an accident had to have happened this day, why am I still here? Why couldn’t it have been me?’” Hilaria said on the February 23 episode of The Baldwins, People reported.
On October 21, 2021, a prop gun Alec was holding exploded on the Western movie set, killing Hutchins. The sixty-six-year-old entered a not guilty plea while being charged with involuntary manslaughter. “I’m happier when I’m asleep than when I’m awake,” Alec recalled saying to a buddy during the episode.
Alec added, “This has been just surreal.” “I mean, I can’t even believe that we’re going through this, and I always feel more in pain about you than me, because I think to myself, well, you know,” he told his wife.
“I think what it’s done to you [Hilaria] and how much it’s hurt you and everything,” Alec said, adding that he would do his best to simply get through it. Hilaria added that Alec’s OCD has gotten worse since the incident and that everyone who has known the Supercell star has witnessed his “mental decline.”
“This past year was just terrible. There were times I’d lay in bed. I’d go, ‘Wow, my kids. I can’t get up.’ That’s not like me. I’m not like that at all, not in any way am I like that. Never,” the Atrabilious star added.
